February 7, 2008 - "Morale, part 3" « PREVIOUS - ARCHIVE - NEXT »
My fellow robots, we're all tired of this war. But I've been working on a plan to put a little team spirit back into it, and boost our troops' morale. I'm proud to announce that we will soon deploy an elite team of hookers into... er... wait! Not hookers!... CHEERLEADERS! I meant to say CHEERLEADERS! Dang it! You guys called them hookers so many times, you've got ME saying it! Now I look the fool on TV! Mr. President, has your administration actually contemplated sending prostitutes into a war zone? 'Course not! I mean... we talked about it a little, but... heck, that wasn't... See, I wanted to talk about the cheerleaders, but... uh... Oh, God! I voted for this idiot! Or maybe he's a genius! The press is gonna work itself into a frenzy over the mention of the word "hooker." Meanwhile, his ridiculous cheerleader plan will slip by them, completely unscrutinized. Wow. Sure I know the difference! Hookers charge you for sex... and cheerleaders give it away free!... Wait... that didn't come out right... Next question... Mr. President! Mr. President! He has them right where he wants them! He makes it look so easy!

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